Have You Ever

Have you ever found something in your life that you didn't want to lose, but strayed away from it? Like leaving someone you loved so much because you couldn't deal with all the drama. Or letting your passion for dance, music, or theatre just die and gave up on it when you came so far. What's the point? If you really love something, stick with it. It doesn't matter what that thing is, as long as it wont kill you or cause you to lose your way like drugs and alcohol or whatever. Cutting yourself doesn't really help all that much either. I should know, it seems to cause more pain than take away. We all have gone through this, where we just give up and feel like there's nothing left to fight for, totally not realizing that there is so much more to the world than we'd like to know.

We are faced with challanges, tests if you want to call it. Some might say it'd be a "Test of God". When others would say it's life. However it says a lot about who we are when we face these challenges. If you love something so much and one issue comes and keeps piling up and no one talks about it and when it get's too much and you leave. Just walk away. What happens to you after that? If you truely love someone, or if you love to dance, sing, act, play sports, then why not fight to stick with it when it gets too rough?

I guess where I'm really getting at is, life is one big test. A test of who we are and what we are willing to fight for. You never know what you got till it's gone. Sometimes if you're lucky you might get another shot at it. That one thing, may it be a person or activity, that once filled the gap, or space in your heart that isn't worth losing or giving up on. So...why do we do it? Why do we let that part of us die when we know it isn't supposed  to? Is it because we're only human and we all do stuff we end up regretting sooner or later...or because that's just the way life is?

Am I

Am I Being
A Childish Fool,
Wanting And Wishing
For Something Not Real?

Am I Being
A Childish Fool,
Hoping And Praying
For What May Not Come?

Am I Being
A Childish Fool,
Still Loveing You
With A Foolish Heart?
 

Should I Believe You?

Should I Believe You,
When You Say You're
Back In Town?

Even If Your Reasoning
Is Mainly For School.
You Don't Say What For.

I'm Not Sure If I Really Care...
Or If I'm Denying Everything...
Taking A Deep Breath...

If You're Really Here,
Would You Be Willing
To Prove It To Be True?

By Showing Yourself To Me,
And Findning Where I Reside,
Not Knowing What To Expect.

Just To Talk,
And Only Talk,
Bout Nothing,
And Anything.

Untitled.

I want to hear
All the things
I know for a fact
You wont ever say.

I want to know,
That you could
Possibly miss me
A hell of a lot more
Than I miss you.

Yet I'm smarter than that.
You don't care, not a bit.
You're more than long gone
And out of my reach.

But, how is it, that no matter
How hard I try and no matter
What I do, everything seems
To lead back to you?

You're a million miles away,
Yet still manage to drive me
Crazy with confusion of what
I should do, Where I should go...

I'm nothing but a silly
Broken hearted girl
Who needs to open her eyes
And get on with life as if...

As if nothing happened...
As if you were never here...
Yet I can't...

I won't ever know why...
Just that it is what it is.
I guess you're just that
One boy I wont ever
Get over..no matter
How hard I try...

I'm not entirely sure
How much longer I
Can pull it off...
Pretending I'm fine,
And nothings wrong.

It's there, if you look hard enough.
Hidden in my eyes, somewhere,
The desperation of forgetting...
What it is that I once felt.
That I can no longer feel.

Then again, I'm nothing
But a broken hearted girl
Who needs to open her eyes
And get on with life.

Can You See It?

Can You See It?

The Look I Hold?

What's Behind

Every Burning Expression?

 

It's The Thought Of You

That I Hold Deep In My

Bothersome Mind...That

In A Way Holds The Meaning

To My Very Soul

Considering I Have One.

 

It's The Grasp Of A

Dissapearing Girl

Lost In A World Of

Such Childish Games...

Sick Of The Wickedness

Of The Very Being Of

Mankind Itself.

 

Lost In A Daydream Where

Time Is Consumed By An

Unknown Love That's More

Than Long Gone And Maybe

Forever Lost In A World Of

Nothingness And Neverending

Lust Pain And Misery.

 

Yet It Isn't Real...

Or Is It Reality Itself

That Isn't Real?

With Every Little

Detail Of Nothing

And Everything?

 

It's The Look I Hold

That Says It All

With Every Little Detail

You Need To See Before

You Can Understand Me.

It Is What It Is...

Time Passes, In an Endless Flow,
Where Rocky Passages, Or
Bumps In The Road Come Into Play...

What Then, My Friend, Is To Come,
Of What May Or May Not Be?
Riddle Me This, Riddle Me That,
It Doesn't Quite Make Sense, Yet...

It Is What It Is.

Life Is A Challenge...
Of The Heart And Soul...
The Way Your Mind Thinks...
And The Countless Wonder.

A Fear That May Creep In Mind
And Take Over Your Sanity...
Is Nothing In Compare
Of The Tortures Below.

Simply Because: It Is What It Is

In Life Or Death,
In Love Or Hate,
There Is That Ratio.
The Common Denominator,
By Which We Live.

Life Is What We Make Of It,
Nothing Is Really As Bad As
We Make It, Someone Always
Has It A Million Times Worse.

It Is What It Is

Through All The Lies And Despair,
Tragedies And Victories.
Gains And Losses
Love And Hate.

Nothing Is Ever As It Seems...
Just Our Own Perspective Of
How We View And Choose
To Live By Only That.

It Is What It Is,
Simply By How
We See It.
 

Amanda Todd

http://youtu.be/ej7afkypUsc


So. I read about this girl, Amanda Todd. I feel so sorry for her. For one thing it was dumb on her part to actually kill herself, if indeed it was that. She looked like such a beautiful young girl with so much ahead of her. I find it very shocking to read how careless some people are. I, along with many other people have been through hell and back. But being tortured the way she was by one thing she had done when she was in 7th grade...that is something no one should have to go through. I wish I could have been there to see all this transpire so I could give her hope to continue to move on with her life. It's so sad that she didn't seem to have someone there to actually get through to her and actually be there. A lot of times in situations like hers, family isn't enough to keep someone going. I've been there. I give my greatest sympathy for her family and what they have to now deal with. And I hope all the careless people who had their share in her bullying and early departure from this world, get what they deserve. A major case of karma. ESPECIALLY to the guy that started this, all because she didn't do what he wanted her to do. It was, however her fault for allowing the guy to have something to go on.

So let's get real about something. Amanda Todd is most likely not the first teenager to kill themself due to constant bullying, if it be by their own doing or for no reason at all. This is something that needs to be dealt with. Bullying is EVERYWHERE in all shapes, sizes and forms. And now, it's all over the internet. What happened to this girl, and whomever else it may have happened to, it shouldn't happen to anyone else. So stop all this bullying nonsense!! Let go of your lame ass ego and get over yourself. This girl, shouldn't have gone through all the shit she had to go through, all over one mistake she made when she was in 7th grade.

So what is my main purpose of this post? Simply my reaction towards this girls youtube post and what happened to her. Her and her friend talked to a complete stranger, she did one little think he asked of her, and she made the wrong choice by doing as he said. Because of that one decision she made, she had to face him learning everything about her, the very being of herself was destroyed. She was left with feeling alone with no one their who actually cared. What happened to this girl is sad, traggic, and common in most bullying cases. It's also something that SHOULDN'T HAPPEN. No one should have to feel that alone. EVER. No matter what's going on in their life.

So, Amanda Todd, May You Rest In Peace. </3

By The End Of The Day

By the end of the day
It's still you I think of
Why that is...
Well I'll never care to know.

It doesn't matter if
I think of someone else
The thought of you always
Creeps inand invades everything.

So, I'm puzzled at why no matter what
You're still the focus of my attention,
No matter how far or near...
So just tell me how messed up
That could possibly be,

Given you probably don't even
Give a rat's ass and I doubt
You'd even bother to even once
Think about me.

Secrets and Lies

Secrets and lies
Dear sweet secrets.
We all have them.
We all live by them.
We all live with them.

It doesn't matter how big,
Or how small they are.
They will always be there.
Creeping up out of nowhere.
Making themselves known.

It's the lies that seem to...
Find their ways into the smallest hole...
Making themselves bigger than before...
Eating away at anything and everything...
Till there's nothing but misery left.

Allowing the secrets to take fold
Mixing and turning every little lie
Waiting for the perfect moment
To destroy everything...
Leaving everything and nothing

In a still balance
Where it all freezes
In one single place
Leaving only one thing left.

Why Do I Do This To Myself?

Why do I do this to myself?
This taunting of the heart?
Looking back...Thinking back...
On what used to be so important...
Who was so important then...

What is it I wonder, 
That really keeps me still.
Frozen in a moment that 
Once was, and will never be.

So how bout this time I get real
And figure out that what once was
Is nothing but a memory in the past
That now should be forgotten with...
Just about everything else that went
Oh-So-Very Wrong in my life.

I guess it's the feeling I still hold on to..
The one where you feel like someone
Actually cares about you...when
Someone gives you that attention
And desire that you've never bothered to
Feel.

Whatever the true meaning of that is.
I wont ever admit to it. However...
It's the curiosity that gets me...
And brings me to that moment..

That moment of first love.
That moment of first real 
           Heartbreak.

Let's Just Get Over It Already!!!!!

Something To Think About.

     It's amazing how time goes by and you think you know someone better than you know yourself. Then everything changes. They change. You change. You wonder what happened between you and that person you used to know so very well.Somewhere down the line you became distant. Somewhere down the line you stopped talking with each other.
     We meet so many people in our lives, some we say we'll be best friends forever. Yet forever doesn't last. Friendship doesn't last. Friends fight, argue, and disagree with each other. Kinda like family. The only difference is family lasts longer and has been there for you longer. However, in some cases, friends are one's only family. Like with foster children. Some of them have no idea who their family is.
     The point is. Throughout your life, every one you know will change. It's up to them on if they change for the better or worse. Just like it's up to you. You can go about your life thinking you'll never mount to anything, in yet you can be so much more than what you think. You can be so scared to be yourself thinking no one will like you for you, yet you'll never know unless you give it a try.
     Life is about finding yourself. Discovering who you are and what you want to do with yourself and how you plan on getting there. People will shoot you down. People will judge you no matter what. Be true to yourself and don't let all the bull shit drama get to you. You are who you are. With a POSITIVE mind, you can accomplish POSITIVE things. With a NEGATIVE mind, you'll accomplish nothing.

YOU ARE WHAT YOU MAKE OF YOURSELF.

NOTHING LESS, NOTHING MORE.

Let's Twist Words and
Let's Rhyme Songs.

We Haven't All Day,
We Haven't All Night.
Just This Moment Till
Morning Light.

Hold Me Tight
Don't Ever Let Go

Cause Once I'm Gone
I'm Gone And Am Not
Ever Coming Back

When It Comes To Me.

When It Comes To Me,
Take A Risk.
Take A Chance.
Most Of All:
BE PATIENT.

I Need The Type Of Guy,
Who Isn't Afraid To Be In A Big Crowd
And Would Scoop Me up No Matter
How Hard I Fought To Stay Down.

I Need Someone Who's Willing To Do
Something Crazy With Me,
Even Just For The Hell Of It.

Go On That Skating Rink And Fall All
Over The Place With Me.
Laugh It Off Every Time We Hit The Ground.

Don't Be Afraid To Because You Don't Know How.
What's The Worst That Could Happen?

Take That Chance In Being My Friend First.
Don't Move In On Me Too Quickly,
Take Everything Nice And Slow.

But Most Of All,
Be Patient With Me.
I Like To Take My Time
With People And Try To Get
To Know Then First.

When You Start Out As A Friend,
You Never Know Where Things May Lead.

Be Crazy, The Fun Crazy.
Take The Chance On Making Me
Try Something New,
Even If I Say I'm Scared.
Even If I Refuse To Go On That Adventure.

The Type Of Guy That Would Truly Understand Me,
Is The Type That's Willing To Take The Time To Be A Friend
And Get Me To Try Fun New Crazy Things, Like Ice Skating.
Someone Who Knows How To Have Fun And Has A Lot Of
Patients, Because I'm The Type Of Girl Who Takes My Time
To Make Sure Everything Can Be Exactly The Way It Should:
Fun & Exciting.

Let's Get Real

Let's Get Real.
Shall We?
I Mean, How Many Times
Dow We Go Through Life
Losing A Friend Over
A Boyfriend Or Girlfriend?

Or From The Realization That People
CHANGE.
It Can Be In A Good Way Or A Bad Way
Either Way, We All Change
Even If We Don't Realize Or See It.

So Let's Get Real And Stop The Childish
Stuff. Talk Like Grown Civilized People.
Look Deep Inside And Think For A Bit.

Now Listen.
I Didn't Lie.
I Didn't Want To Piss You Off.
I Didn't Intend On Hurting You.
I Didn't Intend On Betraying You Either.

I Believe That Maybe He Isn't The Way
He Used To Be. But It Doesn't Change
What He Used To Say.

So Let's Get Real.
Let's Grow Up.
Let's Set Aside
This Pointless Fight.

You Can Hate Me
And Be Done With Me
All You Want.
Hell You Can Even Think Ill Of Me.

I Only Wish For The Best For You (not him)
I Hope You Live A Happy Fulfilling Life
And Accomplish All You Ever Dreamed Of.

And That Someday You'll Think Of Me,
And Realize, That Even Though It May Not
Have Ever Seemed Like It, I Have And Always
Will Be There For You, If Not In Person,
Than By Heart.